Executive summary: Spend your hard-earned money somewhere else; this hotel CLEARLY doesn't want your business.
1. I have been to bars and lounges all over the world.
2. I have been to the bar Esquire magazine called "The worst bar in America."
3. I have been to Ghetto in Bombay, which is actually pretty good.
4. What I'm trying to prove is that I know nightlife. I enjoy it.
5. Tonight was the WEIRDEST and most confusing experience of my life.
Here's what happened:
7 pm: I call Aer. I speak to N (name not disclosed out of respect to her--she was probably only doing her job--albeit TERRIBLY.) I inform her that I intend to visit the bar tonight with 2 associates. They happen to be attractive ladies. I ask to be placed on the "table list." I know this exists because I did the same on Wesnesday night, where the list worked and I was granted a table after several hours of patient partying.
11 pm: I show up. Nobody knows what is happening. There are two lines. 1 in the lobby, where people are being let in with a HANDSHAKE and a welcome, and another outside, manned by a bouncer who can barely speak English.
11:10 I ask the concierge if I could please speak with Nikita. All I want is an assurance that I will get in sometime in the next 20 minutes. My time is money. Nikita is unavailable. The concierge loses interest. Mistake 1--the Taj would not have allowed that to happen
11: 40 After several threats, phone calls, and spending more money than most people in this city make in a month at the "coffee shop" in the lobby (took the waiter FIFTEEN minutes to pour me a glass of wine. We were the only customers there), we are granted entry.
I go up. I do a little dance in the lobby to celebrate before doing so. The ladies I am with are relieved. It's taken AN INCREDIBLE amount of effort to get in here.
It's barely full.
Indifferent service. Not enough bartenders. Prices that make you want to weep. It would be worth it if I could actually get a drink. I ask a waitress (who is obviously frazzled because she is overloaded with work and semi-trained managers who more interested in keeping well-dressed, paying customers out than providing any sort of service) for some service. It doesn't happen.
Water takes 20 minutes to organize. I go to the bathroom. Sit down on the toilet. And count to 10.
1:15 am: I leave. The time in between is a blur. Yeah, the view is nice, but save your money for a helicopter ride of Bombay instead. Seriously, they clearly do not want your business.
Before leaving, I express my displeasure with several managers. They all refuse to apologize, and just make excuses. This would not have happened at the Taj.
Sigh. I left my car at the Hotel of Doom. I suppose I have to go back there tomorrow.
I'm not looking forward to it. I feel ripped off, raped, humiliated, and worst off--like I wasted my time.
UPDATE: Got my car back. They all smiled extra hard at me today. I left with the General Manager's card. I guess I'm going to send him a letter, a bag of poop [yes, I'm joking], and a link to this page.